The Gratitude Ritual That Changes Everything

A simple annual practice to strengthen your relationships and your inner life.

Most people feel grateful. Very few practice gratitude deliberately.

Years ago, during a two-day workshop with Dr. Marshall Goldsmith, I learned a ritual that turns gratitude from a feeling into a system—one you can execute, repeat, and improve every year. He calls it “Getting an A+ in Gratitude.” Every November, during Thanksgiving, I sit down and do this exercise. It remains one of the most meaningful practices of my year.

Here’s how it works.

Step 1 — Recall

Write down the people who helped you in the last 12 months.
Colleagues. Friends. Mentors. Family.
Anyone who lifted you, supported you, or nudged you forward.

You can go beyond a year. Timelines don’t bind gratitude.

Step 2 — Specify

For each person, identify one or two specific reasons you’re grateful to them.
Specific appreciation lands. Generic appreciation dissolves.

Instead of:
“Thank you for everything,”
try:
“Thank you for checking in weekly during my training. Those messages kept me accountable on days I didn’t want to run.”

Step 3 — Express

Write an email or text to each person using that specific moment or behavior.
AI can help structure or polish, but the feeling must come from you.

This year, I wrote 21 notes on Thanksgiving Day. AI saved me time. The emotion was mine.

Step 4 — Simplify

The most powerful gratitude messages are short, warm, and natural.
A few sincere lines can brighten someone’s day more than a long, formal letter.

Step 5 — Send

Send all the messages in one day.
Batching creates momentum; momentum makes this a ritual.

I start my notes with:
“As part of my end-of-year gratitude ritual, I want to thank you for…”

Why this ritual matters

1. It nurtures relationships

People remember how you make them feel. Gratitude deepens connection—especially with former colleagues who may no longer be part of your daily life.

2. It improves your emotional state

Writing these notes grounds you. It shifts your internal weather.
Neuroscience shows that expressing gratitude activates brain networks tied to well-being and connection. When you hit “send,” you’re not just helping someone else feel seen—you’re regulating your own emotional system.

3. It keeps your network alive

Not for opportunity. Not for leverage.
Just for humanity.
A kind message once a year can revive a relationship in a way no networking strategy can.

A word to remember

Not everyone will reply—and that’s okay.

You’re not doing this for a response.
You’re doing it for the feeling you experience while writing.
Think of it like the gym: the benefit comes from the reps. This ritual builds your gratitude muscles, one message at a time.

Here’s a story from this year:
One of my notes went to someone I hadn’t spoken to in nearly two years. He replied, “This made my week. Thank you.” That one sentence reminded me why this ritual matters—gratitude reopens doors we didn’t realize were closed.

A simple action tip

If listing twenty people feels overwhelming, start with one.
If even that feels hard, try this: since you’re reading and enjoying this newsletter, send me a note of gratitude.

Not because I need it—but because you need to feel the genuine warmth of expressing it.
Once you feel that spark, you’ll naturally find yourself writing 20+ messages every year.

Start today.

Write one message.
One becomes five.
Five becomes a yearly ritual.
That ritual becomes part of who you are.

Gratitude grows when you practice it.