Step#7 Enjoy the journey
The journey is more important than the destination. A mountaineer enjoys the experience of climbing. Reaching the top is a metaphor, but the real benefit is the experience of climbing toward the peak. It’s not what you do, it’s what you “become” in the process of goal achievement that matters. This has been a recurring theme in my journey with goals for more than twenty years.
Some goals transform you from a caterpillar into a butterfly. If you look back at your life, you’ll find at least one goal that transformed you—a goal that changed your beliefs, outlook, and self-concept. I have cited several examples from my personal experience in this book.
With so much at stake, what if you dread the process? What if you agonize over the effort? Quibble over consistent work? It seems odd. It’s like complaining about the hole in the doughnut. The doughnut comes with a hole; it’s by design. It’s not a defect, it’s a feature.
I’ll admit to moaning about effort. I did it initially, and I see many people falling into this quicksand of victimhood—especially when the going gets tough!
You need to remember two words on your journey: graceful and grateful.
Graceful: You’re likely to enjoy the process with grace. Being graceful is not our instinct. We groan while doing difficult (or what we perceive as difficult) things. We moan, complain, and push through them.
A pro would shun this. A pro would be graceful in difficult times. A pro would not behave like an amateur letting their feelings get the better of them. Showing frustration, irritation, or acting on impulses are examples of not being graceful.
Grateful: Some of your goals are going to be demanding. They’ll ask for a time-slice from your loved ones, support from friends and family, or deeper involvement of your coach. It takes a village to raise a child; it takes a team to support your goals. So be grateful for whatever support you’re getting along the way. If you’re up for it, get drunk on gratitude.
Openly express your gratitude; the more frequently the better. Start with your inner circle (immediate family). Their support is like the wind on your back. You need it. We all need it. I’m truly grateful to my wife Anusha for her encouragement and support as a partner. She has been a pillar of support in pursuit of my expansive goals. The journey has been joyful.
If you’re not having fun on your journey, you’re messing it up. You’re missing something.
Revisit your purpose and approach. One of them needs tuning. If you’re not “in joy,” you won’t “enjoy.” And it’s palpable. You’ll notice it and others will too—like a drop of bird poop on your shoulder. It smells. You can smell it. Everyone can smell and see it.
You might ask, “What about fear? What if I am afraid of doing something?”
Fear is nothing but thought. Thoughts and feelings are like two sides of a coin. We feel our thoughts every moment. Fear doesn’t tell us anything about external events. It’s a reflection of your thinking—internal chatter, confusion, and limiting thoughts.
“Do the thing and you shall have the power,” Ralph Waldo Emerson quipped.
It’s true. We do things first and then experience the power. Wood first, heat next. You cannot sit in front of the fire and yell, “Give me heat first, then I’ll add the wood.” That would be illogical.
It’s like me demanding to be “confident” in public speaking before actually speaking. Confidence comes by doing, facing fears, and taking the journey.
You need to put your work first to reap the benefits. One of the benefits is personal power—a level of calm confidence that you have never experienced before.
“Success is a journey, not a destination. The doing is often more important than the outcome.” - Arthur Ashe