Step#1 Begin with the end in mind
Beginning with the end in mind is sage advice. What do you really want? What makes you come alive? What gives meaning to you? What puts you in a state of flow?
We don’t get a chance to ponder these questions as we grow up. Life seems robotic when you don’t feel alive, when you don’t have a sense of wonder for today, and when you don’t bring your whole self to daily activities.
We follow followers; people who may be following someone else.
Imagine a 10-kilometer race. You like someone who’s running ahead of you. You follow them to match their speed. In a few minutes, you get tired and slow down. You see another person and you would now like to chase and match their speed. You repeat this and slow down again. What if you repeat this throughout the race, chasing other runners one after another?
More than likely you won’t finish the race. Even if you do, you’ll crawl to the finish line. You cannot follow other people’s plans. They may have a plan and they’re racing their plans. You need to race yours. This seems common sense in the running parlance. When it comes to life, this is not common practice.
We’re bombarded with information on social media. We iconize other people. Comparison brings conformity. You need to define your success criteria. Don’t let others define it for you. Like your fingerprints, your goals, values, and definition of meaning are unique to you.
When you follow others’ path, you’re selling yourself short. You’re depriving this world of your contribution. You’re blowing out a candle that can give light and light other candles.
It’s not easy to have a clear definition in one sitting. That’s fine. You first need to accept the ownership of defining your end. No one else will. That takes effort, but it’s not impossible.
Take a sheet of paper and a pen. Write answers to the questions below. Let answers come naturally. There’s no need to force them, and don’t criticize what you write. Simply write whatever comes up.
What makes you feel alive?
If you were to die tomorrow, what regrets would you have?
What are you scared of doing?
If you had no fear of failure, what would you do?
How can you get paid for doing what you love?
What are your greatest strengths?
What areas of your life need work (health, fitness, finance, relationship, leadership, etc.)?
What goals bring meaning to you?
What would you like to accomplish in your life?
Sometimes it may take more than a few sessions of writing to come up with clear answers. That’s perfectly fine. You can do this several times. You’ll find patterns and themes after a while that emerge from your writing. That’s how it works. It has worked for me and for hundreds of other people that I have worked with in coaching engagements.
If you have finished writing answers to these questions, Congratulations!
You’re now in the top 5 percent of people on this planet! You know what you want. That’s huge.
Very few people think about this aspect, let alone writing it down. Life is busy. Busyness has become the business of life. It’s like driving your car for days with no time to rest or refuel. What’s the point? If you don’t know where you’re going, does speed matter? Distance? Nope.