5 Secrets to achieve true emotional freedom
Discover the powerful truths about your emotions
In 2013, I came across David Reynolds's book Constructive Living. It’s a tiny book packed with life-changing insights. I read it several times and highlighted many quotes and paragraphs. I love David’s work and the philosophy of Buddhism behind the principles he uses in psychotherapy.
Let’s look at the 5 core principles of feelings. Your mental toughness and self-control will reach new heights if you internalize these principles as your mental models.
Let’s go!
Feelings are uncontrollable directly by the will.
We can’t think ourselves into a constant state of bliss.
The effort distracts us from working on what is realistically changeable and controllable.
Feelings must be recognized and accepted as they are.
The best strategy for dealing with feelings is to accept them and see what you can learn from them.
For example, if you feel nervous before a speech, you may be prompted to spend time preparing it.
Every feeling, however unpleasant, has its uses.
Within the most unpleasant emotions, there is potential for good. They can be used.
For example, guilt causes us to reexamine our purposes; anxiety leads to care and preparation; fear mobilizes our bodies for action.
Feelings fade in time unless they are restimulated.
Given time, the worst grief, pain, shock, or fright will lose its edge and become little more than memory.
Feelings won’t maintain their intensity forever. They, too, shall pass away… unless they are restimulated.
Feelings can be indirectly influenced by behavior.
You can use behavior to beckon desirable feelings and reduce the influence of undesired ones. You can influence your feelings but not control them.
No matter what we do, certain strong feelings are stubborn and must be waited until they fade.
Meditate on these 5 principles twice daily, once in the morning and once before bed.
Time for reflection:
How would you respond to life when you truly achieve emotional freedom?